Grace, Etiquette and the Making of a Beautiful Woman

The overlooked beauty secrets every woman can cultivate at any age

My Glow Up Journey

I’ve gone through what I would call a glow up. Over the last 5 years, I’ve spent a significant amount of time studying and implementing beauty routines to help me feel like a more beautiful woman. I’ve also done a deep dive into learning about my personal style, body type and best colors. I’ve tried countless makeup and skincare products and completed numerous closet clean-outs—all in an effort to align my habits and wardrobe in a way that most honors my body and helps me feel like the beautiful woman I aspire to be in the world.

Beyond Hair, Clothing and Makeup

But there is more to being a beautiful woman than hair, clothing, skin and makeup. In fact, the essence of beauty is just as much about the way she moves her body—her grace and mannerisms—as it is about these other, more seemingly fixable characteristics.

Think back to women you’ve admired for their beauty over the years. What was it about them that made them shine to you? Was it their body shape, coloring, height or symmetrical features? Maybe you noticed their glowing skin, creative style, pretty hair or well-done makeup. But it could also, and very likely, have been their grace—posture, mannerisms and manners—that made you take notice of them as a true beauty.

The Essence of Grace

The further I dive into the feminine beauty sphere, the more intrigued I become by the less tangible characteristics of grace in movement and femininity.

The literal definition of grace is “simple elegance or refinement of movement.” This encompasses our posture, the placement of our hands and feet, the way we walk and sit. It also extends to how we eat and chew our food, the tone of our voice, the words we choose, our ability to listen well, and the etiquette that makes others feel at ease in our presence.

Learning Grace and Etiquette

I’ve realized that much of the physical movement component of grace is learned. You are blessed in this form of beauty if your mother is, or was, a truly graceful woman—you then naturally possess this quality.

And while you were inadvertently learning how to talk, walk and move in the world from her, you were also most likely picking up what you know about etiquette: the unspoken but powerful rules that shape every social interaction. Having strong role models to teach you both grace and manners early in life is ideal, but the good news is you can become aware of these things at any point and choose to improve.

When Grace is Missing

Have you ever noticed a woman beautifully dressed for an occasion who then uses crass language, makes unattractive gestures, or chews with her mouth open? It diminishes her beauty, doesn’t it?

You can’t separate the way a woman moves, speaks, acts or makes you feel from her physical beauty. If you think of beauty as a form of artwork and self-expression, we are not two-dimensional pictures—we are moving, three-dimensional works of fine art.

Our pursuit of beauty must not only encompass improving the canvas (skin, hair, facial features and style) but also refining the reel of the film (our movement, language, etiquette and energy). How we move and how we make people feel is inextricably linked to our true beauty in the world.

Why Grace Makes You Magnetic

The good news is that grace and etiquette aren’t age-restricted the way many beauty standards are. Few people focus on this area, so refining yourself here can truly help you stand out.

It also smooths the way in social situations, making you feel more comfortable and confident—which naturally increases your beauty and magnetism. But most importantly, it’s impossible to improve your grace without putting daily thought into how your most beautiful self would move and act in the world. That one small shift in thinking can be life-altering in the best of ways.

Start With Awareness

If you’re interested in leveling up your own beauty, start noticing where you currently stand in the realm of personal grace. How do you walk, sit, eat and talk? Do you speak with words that align with your highest and best self?

Pay attention to the women you admire and surround yourself with as well. The first step in making any change is simply acknowledging the need for it—with honesty and self-awareness.

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This post isn’t sponsored. I only share what I genuinely love and use in my own life. Some of the links below are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). Thanks so much for supporting Girl Gone Glam—I appreciate you!

Here are some resources I value to help you step-up your beauty in this area:

• A few great book titles to check out in the grace and etiquette category are:
  • Refinement of Manner: Manners, Etiquette and Elegance for the Twenty-First Century Woman
  • Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons From The World’S Most Elegant Woman
  • Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic: Lessons in Everyday Elegance 
  • Modern Etiquette Made Easy: A Five-Step Method to Mastering Etiquette
• Posture Support – This invisible lightweight back brace helps remind you train your brain to roll your shoulders back throughout the day. I have a similar model to this that my chiropractor gave me and I find it particularly helpful when working at a computer.
• Posture Gadget & App – Upright GO 2 Premium | Posture Corrector Trainer & Tracker for Women & Men with Smart App. I can’t say I’ve tried this yet but love this idea and am definitely going to try.
• Head Posture Support Workout Weights – This is another one I’m definitely going to try.
• Gaiam Yoga Block – These are great for helping with the neck hump and creating a relaxing posture for your next to fall back into proper alignment
• Portable Ballet Barre Bundle – Everything you need for ballet-inspired at-home workouts for feminine strength and posture.

Audible Membership – I can’t say enough good things about having access to reading on the go. There are so many incredible books on Audible and if you are busy but committed to your self development, it can really help you take things to the next level.

Instagram accounts to follow:

@eleganceny – Olga Kuznetcova | Elegance Coach – leleganceny.com

@schoolofbodyelegance – Victoria Marquise – schoolofbodyelegance.com